Originally Posted by
cynical one 
I’m not sure where listing others unacceptable behaviors is beneficial to your recovery…unless it is used as a catalyst to permanently sever ties to a unhealthy relationship. By asking others what the worst thing their addicted loved one has done - you’re consciously or unconsciously setting yourself up to compare out/compare down. As in, well my husband isn’t that bad he never did what poster A’s husband did. Or, poster B’s boyfriend was much worse than my husband and she is still with him.
I would flip the question to…what is the worst thing that I did or what is the worst thing that I allowed? And, from there you can work on your own why’s…why did I do that, why did I allow that, what would I do differently now, and what boundary would I be willing to enforce so I don’t do/allow that again?
I always compared/compare down. Sometimes not even consciously. I really struggled with this in alanon meetings as well. I try so hard not to but I find my mind wondering in that direction still.
