Thank you so much for sharing with me. Last night I asked my husband to find some place else to stay. I told him I love him and I will be there for him if he decides that he wants a different life, but I can't stay in this one anymore. I am devastated, but I just can't do this anymore. I've been to naranon but never worked the steps for codependent recovery. I'm embarrassed to admit, I just didn't want to do the work and I did exactly what the above posters said, blamed the problem on him. I thought if I loved him enough, he'd realize it and love me back. It's always about him and what he needs. What about what me and the kids need. It makes me feel better to hear what others have been through, I don't know why, but it just does for some reason.