CG, you have every right to be angry! Part of recovery is accepting your anger, processing it, working through it, learning from it, etc. I know you are facing the dual recovery of your own alcohol issues and your co-dependency with your AH. I'm sure some of our group's other double winners have more thoughts on that subject, but it would seem to me that having dual recoveries ahead of you makes it even more important that you keep your focus on yourself as much as possible.
As for your questions, they really are so personal to you. We have members who lived with the relapse cycle (or just a general refusal to work for sobriety) for dozens of years, and others who throw up their hands after a matter of months. I have read that AA puts a fairly big focus on maintaining meaningful recovery/sobriety for a year. That doesn't mean that a year of consistent sobriety and working a recovery program is the bright line test that would apply to you. It's really about how you feel. How YOU feel. Not how he feels. How able are you to detach from him and his behaviors while still living together? We have members who are very, very good at it, and can remain married to an active addict. Many of us just cannot really get away from it, and need to leave in order to truly detach. Maybe consider spending some time thinking through exactly what your boundaries are, what is acceptable and unacceptable to you, for your own mental health (and not as an effort to punish or control or change your AH). That might shed some light on your questions...