So, here is my background info, while my husband was in active heroin addiction, he had an affair with a woman who uses, got her pregnant and he and I now have custody of the child, she has signed of parental rights. I know, I know, I deserve better, I shouldn't put up with it, I should divorce him.
He has been in recovery for 2 years.
So I found out he has been talking to another woman (flirty, but not sexually) behind by back. He has also told me he is thinking about taking our child to see his ex g/f (child's mother) IN JAIL!! He wants to try and be friends with her?! To say i'm hurt is an understatement. When I confronted him about the other woman he said that he doesn't know why I stay with him, he will never be good enough for me ect. ect. He says he loves me, but that he can't be "what I need". I think that he is just pushing me away because he feels unworthy of my love. Has anybody else had anything similar happen? How did it resolve, did it resolve, when did you know it was really over?
Never had a similar situation, although I am watching my gf go though this with a husband who seems to need attention from other woman to be ok with himself, and then he either turns it around on her because of course he did nothing wrong… and if that doesn‘t work he plays the sympathy card of how he isn‘t worthy of her love and she should just leave and save herself because he is a piece of ****. I know she deserves better, she does too. But as of today they are playing the all happy, happy with each other but she is making a plan for her security and the future of her children. This is him, was always him. It isn’t like he hasn’t shown who he is. And he can’t even use the addict card, beg amnesia or high as some easy excuse to blame it all away.
I guess out of all you posted the most important thing is that he has been in recovery for 2 years, and look he is so much the same.
It might be past time to flip the question around as cynical suggested and start looking at your why’s. Not look at him or seek out why he is as he is because frankly he is showing exactly who he is.
Take good care of you.