Dear ouch, Your name says it all. I cried for months, I grieved, blamed, felt guilty, wanted to fix my ADs so badly. I gave the pain and illness up to God, I just couldn't do it anymore...then I'd rescue her again, this went around and around, it still does. And the judging that other so called friends do, that did so much damage. Right when I needed a friend, they abandoned me. SR never left me, scolded be, blamed me. SR educated me, therapy gave me tools, God gave me a happy tear every now and then. Ya, I still hurt, more like I sting in my heart. Once I started taking better care of myself, I felt better, not normal, but more like a mom again. This wasn't my fault, I didn't cause it and I can't cure my daughters. They have hit bottom and are in different types of recovery, but both desire sobriety. My eyes still hurt from the tears, but my heart has hope, and hope eased the pain some. Stick with SR, these folks are so kind, honest, they will educate you, hold your hand and dry your tears and give you all the support you can accept. Post, read, pray and post some more. Hugs, might be tender soft hugs, but sincere hugs, TF