Fwiw, hearing that someone else has been in my shoes--and made a decision to help themselves--is incredibly inspiring. Yes, being in these relationships is isolating, and to hear that anyone else understands what we go through and why helps me to feel understood. So often, I hear from friends and family that they give up trying to understand why I have allowed this to be my life....but they could never possibly understand how we get here and how stuck we feel. You guys do, and some of you even got better.
Cantcuteit, I've encountered some really horrifying things in my relationship with my ABH. Things that required jail time. Things that required hospital visits. All of it was ugly. But the most heart breaking (ironically) was the infidelity. And that fear that they picked someone else over us and could do it again haunts me. I feel you. I try to remember that I am the best woman he will ever know, and if he doesn't want me, then it is his own stupidity/illness and his loss.