Story74. Your words made me finally cry. No one knows the pain addiction brings unless youve live it. It swallows up lives left and right. I never knkw if I am in denial or amazingly strong. Ive never been able to talk about it until I found this site. I am so deeply ashamed and hurt so badly for my grand children. i see in their faces the horrible pain that they have lived all of their lives. I at least was an adult when addiction came to my life through my exhusband, amd even then I wasnt as affected because we were only together a year. I took our baby daughter and ran. Her early teens is when I realized she too was a drug addict. I was in my late twenties. These children, my grand children have lived with it from birth. The full blown drug addicted horror. I cant help them. Sometimes I dontthink I can help me. I am so glad that you are finding your way out of the depression. Your son is hurt, but if he mamaged to escape the hereditary part of the addiction he will be so better off down the road. I dont know how it is each day that we pull ourselves from our beds and get done what we need to do. Every day i want to put my head on someones shoulder amd my jeart in their hands and say just please make me feel better. Help me forget that the people i love have been destroyed and I cant do a thing about it. Eveery day I hang onto what good I can find and hope that I am not hiding, but surviving.