Sweetie,
I say this with the greatest tenderness but continuing to drink will most certainly rip your family apart as well.
The consequences are coming whether you want them to or not, physical, familial, mental, anxiety, all of the above and more.
If you continue drinking, it's not a question of if, but when.
You can not drink yourself out of the consequences. That's what made me stop.
Please get some help, get yourself free from the demon. We're all here to help every scary step of the way.
I'm worried about you.