I Despise what I've become
I made a thread couple weeks ago saying I'm quitting. I made it 3 full days longest streak in last 8 years. I couldn't handle the shakes and urge to drink so I fell off wagon. My drinking completely intensified from when I quit and I can't control it. I haven't left the house since I've relapsed unless its to the liquor store next door. I ****** hate my life, hate what I've become, and hate the fact I shut every single person I've ever known out. Normal people eat breakfast when they wake up i get the bottle and its just killing me. I don't know how to quit I realize an online forum won't help me quit but maybe a little advice on where to go to get help. I'm going to AA tomorrow at noon hopefully sober but I doubt it to see if its something I can see myself going too. Any other suggestions would be great cuz I'm on the brink.