When you say: "I'm not sure if I can continue to fight this urge.", you are giving power to your alcoholic voice.
Even after 16 months, I have the occasional "urge". Every time, I just say to it, "No way, no how! Ain't gonna happen." You would be amazed at how fast that "urge" disappears when that is the only response it ever gets. The doubt is telling that urge that maybe next time I will push just the right buttons. A sure recipe for it to be back very soon and carrying a big stick. Certainly go to AA if it is available, the support will help. Also, look up AVRT. I found it very helpful.