Postcard,
I think a lot of us can relate to allowing alcohol to screw us up when we really need to be sober and on the ball. I was more interested in how to stay sober than why I was alcoholic. I accepted the truth that I was powerless over alcohol and from then on my primary purpose was to stay sober.
I am 2.5 years sober with the support and wisdom of the. SR and the 12 step program.
keep reading and posting you can do this but the bottom line is you can't drink.
All the best
caiHong