Anyone else get caught up here? Or in all or none thinking? Self-righteousness has seemingly been my modus operandi with my AXBF. Basically, by telling myself he was a jerk and I am not a jerk, helps me to stay away. It works for a little while, and then I feel guilty that I left him in anger, disgust, disdain, and resentment. It is hard for me to just let it go and realize we both had faults. I have to make him out to be the enemy, or I feel I will cave in maybe until I have more recovery under my belt. Can I just be angry and righteous for a little while longer please?
Where to start with this...
I have learned that owning up to my shortcomings and failures is liberating. It's not something to be feared. It's something to embrace. Your AXBF's shortcomings and failures are his own and have nothing to do with you. And it's because of those that you're staying the hell away from him.
Anger, in my view, is OK so long as it doesn't dominate your cognitive reasoning. Once it does, you'll have a hard time breaking free of it. So, in your own mind, own up to what you have to own up to, and keep pushing forward...
ZoSo