The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Good: After a long search I found the perfect job. I came in at the right time. They had one position left, and it was the one I wanted. I was hired right on the spot.
Bad: After 4 days of not drinking, all the physical withdrawal symptoms are gone, except one. My hands shake. Yesterday I tried to fill out an application and couldn't do it. My handwriting looks like a child. To even be legible I had to write VERY slow.
Ugly: I knew I had to fill out an application there, and if hired a bunch of paper work. I knew they would look it over. I drank two beers before I left.
This morning I sat for almost an hour writing on a piece of paper random things and nothing was legible. I was about to go to this interview and I panicked and bought two beers. I chugged them, and 5 minutes later my handwriting was perfect. The owner of the company sat next to me as I filled out forms. I just pounded them out like nothing.
I feel so stupid right now. I had to drink to make sure they didn't notice my shaky hands and poor handwriting. At the same time I'm elated about my new job. Assistant kitchen manager. 2x the pay of my last job. Free full health benefits. It's exactly what I wanted. But I also wanted to stay sober and I screwed that up. On the way back the idea popped into my head that I should buy some beer to celebrate, but the shame of giving up a goal hit me. Sigh...