Thislonelygirl, I have been reading through your roller coaster ride for a year now...and I think he's shown you who he is time and again. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I know you're expecting another baby and things are difficult. At some point, having kids and having another baby has to stop being the reason NOT to make changes, but the reason TO make them. He has told you through his actions, over and over, that he is not interested in making changes. If your lives are going to improve, it is going to have to start with you.
I say this with love and respect. I know from your posts you have a good head on your shoulders. And you have a big heart, too, but letting it make your decisions is going to keep you right where you are.