I agree with both sides here -- nobody wants to blame the victim, but the victim needs to recognize and harness the power she does have to strive for other things. It's extremely difficult while you're in the situation to see the opportunities to get out or to have better influences in your life -- hell, opportunities at all. So much energy and emotional reserve is depleted by living with an alcoholic.
But ultimately, for me and many others who left, this was the process: "get out of the house more, get away from him more and see what that feels like. to be able to breathe, speak your mind, take yourself to a movie and WATCH the whole thing. and ask yourself why you keep going back? what REALLY holds you to someone who is so horrid to you?"
You get out more, see other things, feel good in your own skin, remember what it felt like to have time to yourself and/or time with loved ones wtihout the crazy pushing and pulling from the alcoyholic ruining your time. You learn what it is like to have money that's all your own. You make new friends. And with this personal growth, you start to get some distance from his crazy. And that crazy stops looking like something you can put up with for a lifetime.
You only get one life. How much of it will you reserve for him and his ugliness? It's not a question that needs a number, but it is a question that needs to be in your mind. Also, what will you do for yourself this weekend? Bubble bath? Movie by yourself? Coffee with a girlfriend? A solo run? How do you treat yourself? How do you love yourself?