well, this is different...
the fam and i are rolling out to see the in-laws this weekend... and if i was the same person i was last spring, i'd be a bloody disaster by now. drunk (yes, at 11am!), stressed, depressed, angry...
i hate where they live. the house, for all that they use unscented stuff for our sheets and towels, stinks like 50 kinds of perfume... all of which i'm allergic to. the tv is on all day, every second (whether someone is watching it or not) at the kind of decibels that make ears bleed. hub and i get a tiny bed that, once one of us tries to breathe or move on, becomes a catapult to the floor. oh... and, as cliche as it is, mother-in-law and i have issues.
but, the kids love it. so, in the past, i've gone... doing all the work to get ready, getting more pissed and meaner by the second, and done my best to make everyone as miserable as myself.
yeah... cuz that makes it better?!?!
not this time. i'm getting all packed up, feeling calm, thinking of all the fall color i'll see on the drive, looking forward to running around through the holler with the kids tomorrow (holler being regional dialect for the hollows between the hills, for my non-hillbilly SR friends!), hopefully escaping for a date with hubs for the first time since mid-may, and just embracing the joy of watching my kids with their only living grandparents.
this is new for me. it's a little more painful for me this time because i'm at the anniversary of my own mother's death (she never even met my kids), but i feel that i can get through this, no drunk monster in sight.
another first!
i have a good book and a good play to read, my journal, and (usually decent) internet to read here at SR for strength and companionship.
first trip to in-laws since getting sober... ready, set, go!!