Ok, normally I would not just blurt this story out in public, but this is the perfect place for me to do so.
I have been dating a recovering alcoholic who is 11 months sober. We spend our weekends hanging out and generally talking and seeing other friends and it's all very normal. EXCEPT for my past - dealing with an alcoholic/addict mom, and his past - 16 years of addiction.
I have recently started attending Al-Anon meetings at his urging, and I work with a private counselor, too. My heart and head can't handle all the stress I put on them. The past couple of months have been miserable for both of us because we were both trying to deal with my depression. Things are starting to slowly unravel and I am starting to see how to get myself of the funk that I am in. I don't quite see the light, but I know it is there.
The problem now is that I have about that ][ much faith that our relationship will work out. My fear of losing him is second to my fear of holding on to a sick relationship that can never really work because of my ACOA status. When we argue I say things I have always said, when he is upset I find myself trying to protect him from himself. I am consicously trying to rip these old habits away, but they're still present.
Has anyone here *successfully* lived through the recovery process with their alcoholic and/or addict S.O.?? What did you go through? How long did it take before you saw changes in the way you related to one another? What resources have you found to help you on your journey? How did you strike the balance between self-care and loving someone else?
And on a semi-related note, I found a cool article about introverted narcissists. It certainly described me to a T, so maybe you will be interested in it, too. It'd probably apply to anyone who has ever had to live with or love a person who "acts out" all the time.
http://www.healthyplace.com/communit...ism/faq66.html