Bluechair, Why beat yourself up? You said what you needed to say and guess what? Maybe it is exactly what he needed to hear. I do not see one thing wrong with what you said. He needs tough love. Being nice isn't going to do anything for him right now. he needs to feel the consequences of his actions. Now it is up to him to make the decision to either be honest and get clean or not. You have received great advice from everyone above. My heart goes out to you and I pray when you sit down with the counselor you see a difference in your husband's attitude. Right now you have to take care of YOU.