If there is one piece of advice I can give it is:
Find people with long-term sobriety and do what they do whether you want to or not. Our best thinking got us to where we were. It is time to do something dramatically different. We will never think our way out of our problem. Sobriety requires physical action. It could be aa it could be professional help, it could be going to some place where people don't drink, it could be all of the above. whatever it is it is not doing what you're done in the past.
Stay sober 12 days is a huge accomplishment