It is funny that you have posted this. It has been on my mind all week. I to have struggled with the "in sickness and health" thing. Although from my point of view I have to say that I do not believe that God wants me to live like this. He doesn't want my children who are totally innocent to live in a house full of meth pipes ect....
I don't buy into the addiction as a disease bit. It is a choice that he chose to put that pipe in his mouth the first time. It is more like WE (the family) have the disease. He was literally killing me physically. I was 39 and my dr was worried I was on the verge of a stroke. I had to get out. Just to survive. I did not choose this disease. Just like people do not choose to get cancer.
I know that my AH also threw in my face every time he had the chance that I was not in the best mental health when my grandpa died. Yes, i was depressed. Yes, I did not function as a normal person. Yes, I should have had help. And he throws it in my face that he stuck it out with me. The difference. If he would have said I am taking you to get help I would have ran at the chance.
When I beg him to get help. His response to me even months after I left was, I will do ANY thing you want me to do to fix this BUT. I WILL NEVER GO TO REHAB. That was it for me. In a marriage I think there has to be give and take on both parties. I won't give if he won't in order to save our lives and the lives of his children.....