I think as adults we make informed decisions. I think my marriage vows are important. If I think I have to stay with an active user because of my marriage vows then I will suffer the consequences of that choice whatever they should be. When I decided to have a child with my husband I made a choice to put her first. I can't think of any other situation where I would let a drug addict around my child. It doesn't make it okay just because he is her dad. It's unsafe and mentally unhealthy for a small child to be around that kind of chaos. I refuse to let her be second to his addiction. If I didn't have my daughter I think it would be harder to leave. He's 90 days clean and I've told him that I will not let our child feel the impact of this addiction firsthand again. The rollercoaster was so hard and confusing for her already. This is the first time in her life that her dad has been sober. So while I respect my vows my protectiveness over my daughter's well being outweighs any of that. So I'm willing to be here for the better of our marriage and the worst of his recovery but no part of active addiction.