"I'm not sure what is happening to me but I want to be sober more than I want to be drunk, and I never want to black out again and forget what I am doing."
it could be that the pain of getting drunk finally exceeded the pain of reality.
"...I am going to just have to make a support group in AA because I don't have anyone else in this town to talk to."
and yer gonna prolly find out theres a LOT of people in your to town in recovery willing to help you.
on sponsorship, listen for someone that has what you want. but 1st you have to decide you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it.
do you know what we have? if not, heres a sample:
have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body
there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking
they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.
We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.
We can look the world in the eye.
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
Our fears fall from us.
For by this time sanity will have returned.
We will seldom be interested in liquor.
If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
life will take on new meaning.
that's just a few of the promises. theres a lot more.