Hello, I just wanted to introduce myself on the forums. I am a person who has habitually used various drugs, mostly due to a feeling of loneliness and searching for an escape from reality. Later on it was to hide from my own bad feelings. I would feel bad and then take a pill to feel better... but I felt much worse in the long run.
It's always been there, since I was 13 or so. I'm 23 now. Over the past 2-3 years I've had the blessing of learning a lot about mindfulness and meditation. Slowly but surely I've been disidentifying with those patterns of negative thinking. Of course I have still been using from time to time. It also helps that I got away from my old friends who used very heavily.
Two weeks and one day ago, I used my last drug. It was anticlimactic. I realized it was no longer who I was. I don't have any more "Excuses". My friends don't do it. It's bad for my brain. I have a girlfriend who I love and who loves me.
I totally realize the need to surrender myself, and so I went to my first NA meeting. Receiving the white keychain was a great experience! I hugged a big fat man
I've also been reading the blue book and I find much inspiration from it.
I know the road ahead is long but I wanted to re-introduce myself. I posted here a couple of times a couple of years ago, but I wasn't ready to quit yet. I realize now is my chance to grow up, to live the life of my dreams, and to quit. I look forward to getting to know all of you and of course becoming more involved in NA!