Must Get Sober...
I am 40yrs old and quit drinking for about 8years. I know how awesome sobriety can be, I just keep trying to fit drinking into my life for some reason right now. I started drinking again this year, I never "declared" myself an alcoholic and someone thought that since I didn't drink for 8 years, I couldn't be a real alcoholic. 8 years ago alcohol almost ruined my life, it almost took my career, my marriage and my sanity...and for some reason this year I decided that I am not an alcoholic and that I can drink again.
It is insidious the way it creeps into my mind around 4pm...I buy a bottle of wine and think that I am a grown up and deserve this...but sometimes it is a few glasses (even that makes me feel like crap the next day) and sometimes it is a couple of bottles.
I have worked my butt off these last 8 years getting my life together...I liked myself, I built a business, I maintained my marriage and had a son...I KNOW that alcohol will take this all from me, but for some reason, I just keep drinking...
I vowed when I quit before that I would not loose another day to a hangover and now I lose one about every week. I am happy to find this website and hope that I can stay connected and get sober. I am planning to go see a counselor (I do have some underlying issues, but I don't think that is why I drink). I tried AA briefly and didn't feel comfortable there...but am not ruling it out - I know I need to try a different meeting.
It is so hard for me because for 85% of the time my life ROCKS! I have great friends and wonderful business and super family and then I ruin it with alcohol for the other 15%...I know it is an addiction/physical disease, but I feel like an idiot when I get drunk and have a hangover - when I know it is so stupid!!!
The good news is my life is full of non-alcoholic stuff, so I don't really have to make big life changes, just different choices (that is harder than I could have EVER imagined!).
I hope this is an ok introduction...I have so much to say rolling around in my head right now.