befuddled, you are smart to get out early! Why would you be a "wimp" for choosing a healthy life for you and your daughter? He will not get sober until he is good and ready. You can't "help" him. So all that you accomplish by hanging around an active A is to get lied to at the very least and to suffer financial loss and physical/emotional abuse in worse cases.
As far as being friends with his mother, perhaps she would be interested in going to Alanon also? It might be a great way for both of you to avoid being manipulated by the A in the days to come.
I sure do hope you can make it to a meeting sooner rather than later, but as I said in my earlier post, if you can devote some time to reading here daily and perhaps get started on some of the books mentioned in the stickies at the top of the page, that will almost certainly be of some help to you right now.
Don't let him pull you back in.