Hi RLH. I remember feeling that way so many times. It always led me back to drinking. I just didn't wait long enough to feel better & more optimistic. The last time I quit I gave myself a chance to ride out the temptations & feeling sorry for myself. I know I'll never go back to that old, miserable life. The fun came with a huge price - and in the end there really wasn't any fun - just danger & uncertainty.
I hope you'll keep posting. It helps to share these thoughts and to know you're not alone.