bruised-
I am keeping you in my thoughts :-). I know this is a rough time for you; it sounds like he is really trying to help (as far as the stopping you thing, i'm sure he didn't realize how awful it would make you feel. For me, hearing someone tell me i should "slow down", or "call it a night" would set off a wave of resentment, shame, etc etc). Take care of yourself, and do what you need to do to help yourself. Try an AA meeting, ask him to try an al-anon meeting. It couldn't hurt, right?
hugs to you,
bea