I think the hardest part for spouses and family members to wrap their heads around is that they think the addict loves them and uses drugs.
Wrong
The addict loves drugs, and uses people.
Thats why I lash out at the people who love me. I dont love them. I love Heroin.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind, and the second is like it, love others as you love yourself"
Well... an addict could say:
"I love my DOC with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I dont love myself. Therefore I cant love you."
We end up hurting everyone because of this mentality.