How do you keep true to yourself?
Just want to say "Thank God" for this site. For 2 years I thought I have been living a nightmare now I know it's a reality that is shared by so many others.
My H had an "episode" 2 yrs ago after daily use of alcohol and marijuana. For past 2 yrs he has continued to drink heavily and also become increasinlgy obsessed with sex. I have thought so many times to pack the littlies and leave but my love for him kept me saying"he can change".
Now I am at the point where I think I am no longer in love with him, rather the person I thought he could be. I see glimpses of that person occasionally but I know that is not who he is all the time. He is paranoid, moody, obsessive and mostly a drunk.
I have come to hate being alone with him for fear of being guilted into having sex which is becoming increasingly longer and rougher and leaves me feeling ashamed, hurt and upset. He needs it every 2-3 days and can't undertsand why I can't keep up. I have finally admitted to myself it is an abusive relationship and I need to keep strong about what kind of life my kids and I are entitled to - that is the hard part.
How do you keep true to yourself and not sell out because you want to keep the peace or just to trick yourself into thinking you have a normal relationship?
You are all sensational!