Originally Posted by
NeverHadALegal 
Hello everyone.
So heres the skinny.
I have been sober since I was 19. I am now nearing my 8 years mark. When I came into the rooms it was bad and I was willing to do anything you guys said. I had went to jail, then did a 90 day stint in rehab.
Now hearing that im sure your saying to yourself "What's the doubt about?".
My doubt is this. When I went to jail it was because I was out there smoking crack. Was I drinking? Sure I would drink if it was around. But it was not really my DOC.
Recently the weather has started to change and the fall like weather is here. For some reason my mind tells me how nice it would be to have a glass of red wine. Now not saying that I would enjoy the taste of red wine or any alcohol for that matter. But it definitely got me thinking....Was I just a wild teen rebelling against the world (Like teens do) and just got caught up in some bad stuff? ie.crack. Am I really an Alcoholic?
nearing 30 I am asking myself cant I just go out with my friends like an adult and have a drink, go home, and wake up and go to work?
Any advice, similar stories would help.
Thank you,
Doubts
I first sobered up at 21.
Twenty-five years of pretty content sobriety and I started having those same thoughts. By time I had 30 years of not drinking, I decide to try what you are contemplating. (details in my blog)
It took about 19 months of trying everything to control my drinking, but nothing's different. All I did was prove to myself that I am still an alcoholic and I never know what the outcome will be once I pick up the first drink, except that it most likely won't be pleasant.
I missed my old sober life and was fortunate enough to make it back.