(((bruisedego)))
He loves you lots. He's doing the best he can to help. He's trying to help you help yourself.
You need all the help you can get.
Running away is easy. It's time to take a stand.
You need AA. He needs Al-Anon. You both need each other. He cares about you or he would have left already.
You have enough self-esteem to post here. That's good. Build on that.
I've been sober in AA over 16 years.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.