Was just thinking on my own actions of a few years back.
Why did I say some of the things I said?
Why did I do some of the things I did?
If my wife said...Get out
I could (in my mind) blame her. Either she is very smart or just didn't know what to do at the time so she did nothing. No matter it worked.
She put the choice back in my lap. She was not going to make my choices for me. I feel that was my intent the whole time... let her make the choices I don't want to deal with making. It wasn't a conscious choice of being well thought out. It was a reaction caused by a lack of backbone I guess you could say. His words as you post them seem to me, to be doing the same. Trying to push you to make his choices for him.
No direct answer to your question of what is God's will here but I will give my prayers that the Lord smack him upside the head and wake him up as He did me. May he find recovery and may you find peace in this storm.