Hey LMN, I just finished reading your entire thread and does it ever sound like mt AD talking! Such hateful words, blame, guilt (pointed at me) coming from her mouth. One minute saying she wants to attempt to be sober the next she throws in the hat, and tells me she might as well use so she can feel "better". She is seeing an addiction psychologist who is an ex-heroin abuser and is wanting Methadone. But if she doesn't get her way, here comes a temper tantrum! Like ripping that lollipop outta a toddlers mouth, I can already hear it. And why does the addict always hurt the ones that love them the most? I've always wondered that, why us? We just want to help, not fix them, that's their job, but love them. My AD certainly is powerless over her addiction, that's gotta be why she acts and speaks the way she does when the withdrawals come a calling, which seems to be every time she comes home (humm that's interesting!) I am the enemy of addiction, I am the sobriety looking for takers to my world! I am hoping someday, when she is ready, she will make the right choice! Hugs and take car! TF