It took a lot of courage for me to leave my XAH 30 years ago....and we did have a child. But I don't regret leaving him. The divorce was awful.....wouldn't wish that on anyone. He was cruel and manipulative, harassing and so many other things in an attempt to shake my resolve. Two years afterwards though, I met my current husband of 28 years whom I love dearly. It's 30 years later, my XAH still can't be civil, is still addicted, and blames me for all that went wrong in his life. I feel great compassion for him because he is a very sick man.
How did I take steps to leave him? I just did it.....asked him to move out, he did, lost our house to foreclosure, and leaned on those who love me to get through the tough times. If he hadn't moved out....I would have. It was an extremely unpleasant time in my life. But I survived and went on to find a deep, true love with a healthy, wonderful man.
I'm sorry you're going through this....it is hard but survivable.
gentle hugs
ke