dizzle00

I've only posted a few times regarding my husband's heroin addiction which I just found out about 2 months ago. I've been struggling a lot with the need to police him although I know it helps nobody in the situation. I go to Al Anon, I have a therapist and a support system.

He's relapsed twice on alcohol after his 28 day inpatient and now I'm pretty sure he's using opiates again, but I don't know for sure. A lot of the signs are there--lying, withdrawing unaccounted for money, and some other things. It's confusing for me because he goes to NA meetings 6 days a week, works with his sponsor and seems to be attempting to take the program seriously. .

He says manipulative things about how if we weren't together, he would just go back to using and downward spiral, and how I'm the only thing that keeps him accountable. I know this is wrong and manipulative. My bottom line is that I will not live with an active user, but I don't even know where to start.

We don't have children but he's the breadwinner. I don't trust him to be an adult about a separation, I just know that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I love him immensely but I can't watch him destroy himself. Can anyone share their experiences as to whether or not you stayed and if not, how you took steps to separate? I'd love to save our marriage, but that takes two and unfortunately, my partner is no longer the man i married.