Hi Flujays,I am thinking of you!! What you are going through is awful..I have two boys..8 and 12..I use to drink a lot,have hideous hangovers,could barely walk them to school,I was a disgrace..the anxiety was beyond dreadful, I'd hear babies crying in the dark and church bells ringing..I was scared and exhausted, embarrassed and sick.but! I'm OK now..and you can be too...its so much easier to be sober and happier believe me..you will get there again and you will be OK..lots of love xxxxx