Sad - Of course you know that everyone here either feels or has felt the same emotions you are having right now.
This is my 3rd time going through this with AH. I let him come back after rehab, he relapsed I left for a year and then let him convince me that he had accepted that he is an alcoholic and could NEVER drink again. The words I so longed to hear, and so I came back for round 3. (hence charmed3 or the 3rd time is the charm)
Because my family and friends helped twice before I kept quiet this time. Praying for a miracle. I stayed locked in the bedroom most the time I was home, cried myself to sleep every night, woke every day with dark circles under my eyes, told no one what was going on and even quit answering the phone or calling people back.
I was sad, lonely, depressed, full of anxiety and miserable. But when it became too much and I could take no more, I called my sister and then my best friend. Once I opened up, it was like the damn broke and it all came flooding out. Truthfully, once that happened I started getting better.
So happy you are making those calls. You will open up on your terms and in the time frame you are ready. And when you do, you will feel so much better.
Good luck to you and take care of yourself and your daughter.