Hi ctrl. Proud of you for posting what happened.
I thought I could have a glass of wine with dinner too. I'd been sober 3 yrs. the last time I tried it. Off I went for 7 more yrs. of attempting to control what I drank. There is no control. One sip & all good intentions fly away.
Dee often says it's the times we're successful in just having one that are dangerous. Jaynie also said something similar. We feel encouraged by that & try to continue. Sooner or later we find ourselves back in the same old unmanageable mess. It happened to me many times. There was nothing to do but stop all together. It's so much less exhausting. We can get on with the business of living without all the chaos.
Ctrl you are already giving back with your honest admission - and desire to start again. It's inspiring and helpful to those trying to find their way. Glad you are back and reclaiming your life.