Originally Posted by
LoveMeNow 
Sadly, now that my husband is back in active addiction, he loathes me. The tone of his voice is something I don't think I have ever heard before. It's not even so much what he is saying but the way he says it......filled with such hate in his tone. Anyway, is he projecting his own self loathing onto me? Or have I just become his addictions enemy? Or maybe he is angry I am done enabling?
I am just curious why active addicts become so hateful to the people who still care about them. I read it so often on here!
You nailed it already on the head - and I completely hear that tone in my ABF who is trying to stay sober too - that condescending threatening tone that basically says to me - if you keep pushing me - I am going to go score and use - which is a threat to you of course b/c you know where it is going after that - as you already have experienced. Detach with love my friend - go find a Nar-Anon meeting or Al-anon. I don't want to go to these meetings anymore than I want to go to my own NA meetings sometimes but the truth is - we can't ask these questions b/c there isn't an answer in my opinion.
There is not answer to the hatefulness and the lashing out on the people who love them...mostly I think because addicts don't see through their own addiction. The addiction is what they are powerless against. We are powerless against the addict. Nothing makes sense under the veil of addiction.
Don't ask why anymore...try to ask why do I tolerate it. That is the question I keep asking myself...and since I can simply walk away from my ABF no strings attached, I have been asking that alot.
I wish you well my dear.