Why do you try and explain? Her recovery is none of your business, and yours is none of hers.
If you really want to understand what is going on with you, begin attending Alanon meetings. Try six meetings before giving up on it. If you are serious you will do this, if not... then the shoe fits, so wear it.
Take care,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
dshonwood 
Everytime I try to explain a fact that my AGF has not come to terms with the terrible things she has done (cheating, financial household crisis, etc..) to those close to her (barely now working on step 4 after 18 months sober) and stating all the things I had to put up with and take care of the past 10 years of our relationship, she immediately always calls me the martyr. ????
Now I am by nature a very UN-selfish person and do NOT perform acts for others out of personal gain. Being a codependent, am I really playing the victim here?? Or is this just the A using her blame shifting and manipulation techniques to make me feel guilty? Isn't it in fact true, that we codependents ARE victims in all this? So how does the truth make me a martyr??