I read this the other day....
"It's what we think we know that keeps us from learning"
reflecting back on my five years with an active alcoholic, I can honestly say, every time I accepted the unacceptable, I personally was responsible. The minute I tolerated his choices and actions, I was setting myself up for the NEXT round of bullsh*t. And as we all know, there IS A NEXT TIME.
I had free will, I could have chosen to walk away at any time, yet i stayed because I thought I was a good positive influence on him, I knew what he needed and what was best for him. Pretty sure you already know how this all turned out.
Personally, I have zero need to sit back and dwell/ or talk about the past, and recall what I did do, or gave up for him. That was all ME, and my complete lack of education regarding addiction.
When we chose wisely for ourselves, good things happen..