stating all the things I had to put up with and take care of the past 10 years of our relationship,
ALL the things i HAD to put up and TAKE CARE OF in the past TEN years. um yeah, that does sound a bit martyrish. because you make it sound as if YOU had NO choice. and yet you did. you chose to stay, you chose to take on a life with an active addict, you chose to take care of everything, for 10 very long YEARS and feel like you are now owed something for it.
you put up with the cheating.
you put up with the financial crisis.
you had other options. once she cheated on you and you found out about it and didn't immediately NIX the relationship, you bought in. you gave an implicit nod that it was somehow ok. when the finances were going in the toilet, you could have extricated your own $$ from hers and preserved your own financial situation, but you "allowed" it to continue, which again implies consent at some level.
instead of looking at all HER failings, why not take a good hard look at yourself...the choices YOU made and what your own motivation was for making them. see this really isn't about her....and her failings....