It is not your job to take her inventory. She's working the steps, and is early in that. Hopefully she will come to the realization of her past as part of that work. Focus on you. Focus on your role in the relationship. Whatever the reason, it was your choice to "put up" with her behaviors.
Believe me, I was you when first going through all this. I wanted my RABF to recognize every painful thing he did, and make amends for it. I had to learn it wasn't my job to punish him for the fact that I chose to put up with his behaviors and all the associated pain. That was on me.
Maybe as she works the steps in AA, you could focus on working the steps in AlAnon. Both of you can focus on your own respective recovery.