I guess if someone repeatedly tried to explain to me all they had done and sacrificed for me over the last 10 years, my first question back might be, "If you feel you have sacrificed so much, why on earth have you stayed?" Which might, in turn, lead me to wonder if that person wasn't, in fact, embracing the martyr role in an effort to make me feel guilty.
Now, I am not an A, or an RA, or anything but a codie by nature, and I too have tried to explain to the A's in my life all that I have felt they failed to appreciate I have done for them, so I know where you're coming from. But at some point had to ask myself the question, "If I feel I have sacrificed so much, why on earth have I stayed?"
What I am getting at (in a very belabored manner, I apologize) is that you can try to make her understand until the cows come home, but in the end, she is ready to hear you or she isn't, and you can either wait until she is and see what happens (because you have zero control over it), or start making choices towards your own happiness and security no matter what she does or doesn't do.
Sending you strength and patience.