I totally agree with MamaKit. I have played the martyr role many times, and used it to justify my own unhealthy behavior. That said...if my AH calls me a martyr and complains about my "issues," I know that those comments are coming from a place of deflection for him. So for me, I take my own inventory on my co-dependency and need to keep myself in a victim role, because it's what I need to do for myself and my own recovery. NOT because my AH has declared that I am this or that or the other thing. An A is bound to quack a truth every once in awhile, even if just by accident. Doesn't mean he has any unique or special insight into me.
