I, for one, know that I have played the role of martyr. No doubt, I was victimized by my A. However, my own illness of codependency caused me to hang on to that martyr role and wear it like a badge sometimes. Really, it was only after I started focusing on myself and acknowledging my own issues, that I faced that reality. The recognition of my willingness to be the martyr happened only when I got a few layers deep in understanding my codependency.
I don't know if I would ever take my XAH calling me martyr as constructive criticism that I would embrace.
Just my $.02
Hugs,
MamaKit