That's the difference between this time and last time. Last time I set up a good network, had a therapist, etc., but I refused to acknowledge that I was an alcoholic. I was just getting rid of the binges.
When I was having zero drinks, everything fell into place. Work, family, health. Except I had a lingering weakness, which was that I didn't respect my disease.
I tip my hat to it this time. It is like 3,599 - 0, in favor of the alcohol.
I quit.