Originally Posted by
Ethos23 
I don't have the emotional energy right now to invest in myself. I know I need to regroup and make a change, but I don't know where to turn. . .
You are investing a lot of your emotional energy currently by figuring out ways to drink and feeling bad about it afterwards. How about just re-applying some of it towards finding a way to NOT drink? Or maybe an AA or NA meeting? Maybe a call to a local addiction center or counselor? It sounds like you are spending a lot of time drinking too, maybe start by investing one of those drinking hours into a sober hour?
At this point the consequences of your drinking aren't registering anymore, so it's got to come from within.