Sorry to hear of your struggles TryingHard. I'm glad you've decided to try and quit drinking again, it sounds like that will be the best choice for you going forward. SR is a great place to find support in your quest for sobriety. It is my main tool to stay sober.
Regarding your husband, what is your biggest fear - that he will leave because of you getting sober? Or somehow resent you for getting sober? The bottom line is that it's just as likely that he will leave you or resent you for your "bad" outbursts when drunk, and most likely those will increase in frequency if you keep drinking. So you need to worry about getting sober for yourself first - everything else will fall into place as that happens. Be 100% honest about your intentions, and you'll be amazed at how much good getting ( and staying ) sober can do for your life.
Best wishes and stay with us here on SR.