When's it a good idea to ask for help?
I've always felt that my boyfriend drinks more than id like him to, but tonight he told me that he drinks more than HE wants to. He told me it scares him how much he needs it and that once he gets to a sort of happy tipsy place, he cant stop drinking there. He'll end up at the point where he doesn't remember much of what happened who he was drunk-- only bits and pieces. (I'd say this only happens 2-4 times a year.)
He says it embarrasses him to be the drunk person at a pretty chill party.
He wants to change this and be in control of his drinking. the lack of control bothers him, but he says he doesn't really know how to change.
He says he'd feel like a huge fraud going to AA and hearing the stories of people who had real problems and then saying, "we'll, I just wish I was more in control of my drinking. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about how much I drink. But mostly weekends I feel OK about it."
But it seems to me -- if you don't like the path you're going down, it's never too early to be serious about turning around. And I started wondering if he has to figure it out on his own. Are there resources for someone at this stage or would he be laughed at or called a fraud if he asked for help?
for context, he'll drink every weekend, get drunk maybe every other weekend, but only get blackout drunk 2-4 times a year. He tries not to drink during the week but sometimes he does anyway.
This Thursday he stayed up till three am drinking, went to work still a little under the influence - not obviously so and then had the hangover hit him around eleven am. This isnt typical for him, but it got us talking.
He has trouble talking about it. We have trouble talking about it. Neither of us have any idea what one does at this point besides trying harder to drink less. Does one only ask for outside help when one has a seriously bad problem? If not, what kind of help would we look for?
Thank you.